This series of articles is going to be the adventures of Crusha the 'Tard, my character in our Pathfinder RPG campaign. Crusha is an evil Ogre-Kin (half man half ogre) Paladin with stumpy legs and 3 arms. He currently has full plate armour, a huge shield and a Warhammer. He is also a dick. Our first session was basically an intro that involves us wandering around a dungeon and shit happening.
First thing we did when we entered the dungeon was come across something. The Barbarian just yelled and ran in punching stuff. So did everyone but Crusha. He decided to see what he was fighting THEN run in and punch shit. Turned out they were just some little Goblin things so we beat the shit out of them.
In the next room we discovered a well which was giving out light. Crusha investigated and discovered fire in the bottom then asked "is there water in there too?". The Barbarian then opened the next door and the good guy (only lawful character in the group, can't remember the exact role) just ran in and discovered an Alter with some Skelies which then attacked. The Rogue and Barbarian ran in to help him so Crusha walked up and closed the door behind them leaving him and the Dwarf Healer in the well room. After convincing the Dwarf the a breeze closed the massive stone door he then spent several turns "attempting" to open the door. In the end he smashed it down, ran in yelling "we're here to save you guys!" and then the Barbarian managed to kill the last of the skelies. Crusha then convinced the REST OF THE GROUP that the door closing was in fact the breeze and that it had gotten stuck.
As we explored further down the caves we came across a river and heard a roar on the other side. The Barbarian decided to roar back which caused a pair of baby dragon like things to come over. Then the Barbarian went apeshit and attacked one. While he dealt with that 1 the Rogue and Good Guy were made unconscious by the other one, so Crusha killed it. Once they were dead the Barbarian swam over the river and found an egg. When he returned with it the group was divided on what to do. Some wanted to keep it, some wanted Breakfast. Crusha wanted to smash it. So he walked up to the Barbarian, took it out of his hands and crushed it in front of his face. The Barbarian then went into Rage and attacked Crusha. I thought with his armour of 27 (next highest in the group is 19, average is about 15) he would just tank it. No. No he did not. The Barbarian rolled a natural 20 and caused 18 wounds to Crusha. He only has 10. Thankfully the Dwarf Healer stopped the bleeding and the group rested until I woke up again.
We eventually found an exit and called it a night. This is my first time role playing and it's freaking awesome. We've got a good group that's up for a laugh things are just awesome. Can't wait for the next session.